Are you exhausted from repeating patterns you thought you’d already overcome? That same relationship dynamic, that familiar self-sabotage, that issue you were certain you’d resolved—yet here it is again, knocking at your door.
Maybe it’s the relationship that mirrors the last one. The emotional eating that resurfaces under stress. The “yes” that slips out when you promised yourself you’d say no to that committee. The drinking habit you thought you’d kicked.
These repeating patterns can make you feel like you’re going in circles. And the voice in your head is relentless: “I should know better by now. With all the work I’ve done on myself, how am I here again?”
If this sounds familiar, I want to share something that completely shifted how I view personal growth—and might just help you break free from repeating patterns for good.
The Ditch That Teaches
I remember being in my twenties, feeling that familiar sting of disappointment when I found myself stuck in the same emotional pattern again. That’s when this image came to me that has guided me ever since:
Picture yourself falling into a deep ditch. The first time, it’s terrifying. The walls are steep, the bottom feels impossibly far from daylight, and you scramble desperately to climb out.
But here’s what I realized: each time you fall into that ditch, you don’t leave empty-handed.
Maybe you leave behind a ladder from the tools you discovered. Maybe you drop some dirt from the lessons you learned, making it not quite so deep next time. Each visit, you’re better equipped. Each time, you climb out faster.
And yet, we forget this. We forget about all the tools we’ve already left there. We only see that we’ve fallen again, and we label ourselves as failures.
The Sacred Spiral of Learning
Sometimes we’re on this beautiful upward spiral—months or even years pass without visiting that particular ditch. We think, “Finally! I’ve mastered this lesson.”
Other times, we’re caught in what feels like a tighter spiral, falling into familiar patterns so frequently it’s like a record skipping. Why do I keep doing this to myself?
But what if I told you that eventually, with enough tools left behind and enough dirt filling that space, the ditch transforms? It becomes just a little mound that might make you trip occasionally—a gentle reminder of the lessons you came here to learn.
That spiral? It’s going up. Sometimes by leaps and bounds, even when it doesn’t feel that way. Understanding how to rewire your mind and break habits at the subconscious level is key to accelerating this upward movement.
The Shame We Carry
Just recently, I spoke with a dear friend and client who shared something with me, her voice heavy with embarrassment: she’d broken up with her boyfriend.
She felt like a failure. Like she should have known better, done better, been better. She couldn’t see that breaking repeating patterns in relationships takes time and courage.
But here’s the truth she couldn’t see in that moment: She’s not a failure. None of us are.
We all have our areas of growth and learning. They’re not the same for everyone. Your curriculum is uniquely yours.
Your Unique Curriculum
Through my work with Between Lives spiritual regressions, I’ve witnessed something profound: we each have specific themes and lessons we’re meant to explore in this lifetime. This is why comparing yourself to others is not just unhelpful—it’s impossible.
Their curriculum is different from yours. The ditches they’re learning to navigate are shaped by completely different lessons. You have no idea what depths they’ve climbed out of or what tools they’ve had to gather along the way.
The same patterns that keep showing up in your life aren’t random…they’re your soul’s curriculum. And each time you revisit them, you’re building deeper understanding and mastery.
The Voice That Lies
When you slip back into an old pattern, the internal dialogue can be brutal:
“I should have known better.”
“After all this therapy, all these books, all this work on myself—how am I still here?”
“I’m never going to change.”
“Everyone else seems to have figured this out. What’s wrong with me?”
These thoughts feel so real, so true in the moment. But they’re missing the bigger picture about how growth actually works when you’re breaking repeating patterns.
Beyond Intellectual Understanding
We can read all the self-help books, understand the psychology, and philosophically grasp what we “should” do differently. But real transformation? That happens in the experience. In the falling and the climbing out. In the messy, imperfect process of being human.
You can’t think your way out of patterns that were created in your subconscious mind through years of conditioning and experience.
You fell into a hardwired pattern that you thought you were done with for good. But here’s what you’re forgetting: you’re not starting from scratch. Remember all those tools you left in that ditch? They’re still there, waiting for you.
The Tool That Changes Everything
While I’ve gathered many tools over the years, there’s one that has been truly transformative in helping me understand why I fall into certain patterns and, more importantly, how to rewrite the story at its source.
RTT (Rapid Transformational Therapy) and hypnotherapy work directly with your subconscious mind—the part of you that’s running these automatic programs. Instead of just managing symptoms or trying to willpower your way through, you get to the root of why these recurring patterns exist in the first place.
It’s like having a conversation with the part of you that built the ditch, understanding its original purpose, and then consciously choosing to fill it with something better. This is how you truly rewire your mind and break habits that no longer serve you.
You’ve Got This
The next time you find yourself in a familiar struggle, try this: Instead of beating yourself up, get curious. What tools are you gathering this time? What dirt are you adding to fill that space?
Give yourself grace. Be easy on yourself when you slip. You’re dealing with hardwired patterns that were created to protect you, even if they no longer serve you.
Your spiral isn’t a sign of failure—it’s evidence of your soul’s commitment to growth. You’re not broken for revisiting the same lessons. These repeating patterns are your teachers, showing you exactly what you came here to learn.
You’re exactly where you need to be, gathering exactly what you need for the journey ahead.
You are good enough, just as you are.
You are strong enough to get out of this.
And you don’t have to do it alone.
Ready to discover what’s really driving your patterns and rewrite your story at the subconscious level? RTT sessions help you understand the ‘why’ behind your behaviors and create lasting change from the inside out. Book a discovery call to explore how we can work together to transform your relationship with yourself and others.